Saturday, September 11, 2010

After procrastinating.

I'm late. Almost a month later than I had wanted to be, but just the day I wanted to start my own blog, on my birthday, I did an unexpectedly foolish thing that forced me to put it off till later. (I must clarify, it was the foolish deed that was unexpected, not the fact that I did it).
Now the worst thing one could do when one wants to start something which involves typing would be to burn one's fingers. (Well, maybe one could chop them off, too, but lets not get too gory or extreme). I have a tava, that is just a basic iron plate, no handles. It's not too heavy and I didn't think twice before lifting it right off the burner to move it to the bigger burner which I usually use when I make chappatis. Without going into technical details of how hot a tava can get when one absentmindedly lights the burner under it along with the next burner (which in fact one is going to use) and only notices 5 minutes later in this dramatic fashion- tava falling to floor in a reflex action, horror struck eyes noticing the lit burner and brain registering "Hell,this burner is lit?! When? What? How?..."
Speed, I may remind you is the essence in burn injuries. When my fingers were starting to hurt like hell, of course, I didn't need reminding. In ten seconds (I later timed it) I had opened the freezer, pulled out an ice tray, turned it over on the dining table and with 2 ice cubes held as lightly as possible, returned to the kitchen to pick up a bowl and turn on the tap. Only after the fingers were safely in the cold water, did I do the non-essentials- putting the ice tray back in the freezer, closing the freezer door, putting off the gas. The tava lay on the floor for the next 3 hours, who cared?
I am a strong advocate of mind over matter (and absent mind over absent matter, as you may have noticed). So over the next one and a half hours, wherein I kept replenishing my bowl with fresh ice cubes, I also kept telling myself, "Ok, so now we've had enough, fingers will not hurt, they are healed." and I would take my hand out of the cold water. Speed, as I have said before, is the essence, and you wont believe how fast the fingers would dive back in again.
Finally the mind did triumph, or maybe it was the healing effect of the cold water and I could take my fingers out without screaming, but not for long. Since I had no intentions of appending the bowl to my body forever, however, I turned to new tactics. My next tip for you is that any wound hurts more if the blood is allowed to rush into it. The next hour saw me holding my right hand as far above my head as possible. When it began to ache furiously, I would bring it down, but only till it began to burn furiously. Very pragmatic, that's me, not the brave warrior, certainly not.
3 hours later I was almost as good as new. No blisters. A very small portion of the skin skin peeled off 2 weeks later. I consider myself very fortunate, at least the little brain that I possess can be put to good use. My neighbour spilled a mug of steaming water on himself and the next we knew he was 3 weeks in the hospital and INR 3 lakhs sadder. So thats what you can give me as consultancy the next time you decide to follow my footsteps.
P.S. When my sister heard of this incident she added (as an appendix to my birthday wishes), "I hope you have completed your quota of foolishness for the next year." And when I related this insult to my grandmother, she said "Tell her, its creditable! Everyone doesn't have the guts to do a year's worth of work in a day."


  1. I am also fervently hoping that you have finished this year's foolishness..... nice way of depicting the tava falling vaise,

  2. Ahhhh.... A mention of your daughter's take on the incident is missing `Un-julee'.

  3. Certainly a burning issue for launching the blog - I am just curious too know what replaced chapathi for grub- Was there a thought for food or will it remain a food for thought?

  4. As Marie Antoinette would have said, "If you cant get roti, eat double roti!"

  5. Absent mind over absent matter---ha,ha!"--non-essential things, like putting the tray back--"--at what stage did u scream blue murder?:)

  6. Never, I only scream blue murder when someone else has caused the problem. Otherwise I am the epitome of tolerance! ;)